It is a question we may ask ourselves when alone, in the privacy of our own homes. We may seek the advice of close friends, family or other loved ones. Following the death of someone close to us, “When is it okay to move on?”
The Five Stages of Grief
The five stages of grief have been well-documented. They include:
Understanding these five stages of grief however, doesn’t provide us a timeline. “When can we move on?”
The answer can be both liberating and frustrating.
No Time Is the Right Time
The reality is that every death, every circumstance, every relationship is unique. This is the joy of life that can also be unsettling upon a death. There is no day, date or event that can signal the time is right. If you are struggling, knowing this can provide some comfort. It can also be a source of frustration and seemingly unending sorrow.
Every Person is on a Different Path
Grief is both completely rational yet difficult to understand. This is, in part, because we travel down differing paths. We may look at someone who seemed to handle the death of a loved one relatively quickly and with grace. We may have seen others who have struggled with a death seemingly forever and with unimaginable sadness. The fact is we don’t know their real connection with their loved one or the nuances of their relationship. You know what? That’s okay.
We All Travel Through Grief at a Different Pace
While we travel down differing paths through grief we also proceed at our own pace. Know the stages of grief and only move through each step when you are ready. This is your way. You can’t force acceptance no matter what others may say. But know it is coming…just at your own pace. Give yourself permission to be patient.
Don’t Hold Yourself Back
You shouldn’t move through the stages of grief before you are ready. On the other hand, you don’t want to hold yourself back either. Letting go doesn’t mean you love someone less. It doesn’t mean you don’t miss them or respect their memory. It simply means you are ready to accept it and move on. You can still share memories, still acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries and still well up when you miss them. This too, is okay.
At Fares J. Radel Funeral Homes and Crematory, we have had the honor of assisting families in Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky for generations. We can’t pretend to know your grief, we can only hope to help you through this most difficult time.
We understand the responsibility involved in planning final services for a loved one and will do our caring-best to assist you. Please feel free to contact us in your time of need.