One of the most troubling aspects of a death in the family is the conflicts that may arise in its wake.
Families are unique. The grieving process is personal. The stress of death may trigger conflicts that have been underlying in a family for years.
Here are some thoughts about family conflicts following a loss and how they may best be navigated.
People Grieve in Their Own Way and Time Frame
This is one of the most important factors to keep in mind when conflicts arise following a death in the family.
One may be numb and unable to process the death, while another may be more accepting and ready to move on.
These differences shouldn’t necessarily be viewed as purposeful responses to stir conflict. Allow for these different reactions.
Avoiding Conflicts Surrounding Funeral Plans
Conflicts may arise when one family member feels they know what the deceased would like. This emphasizes the value of having a funeral preplanned. Preplanning can bring clarity to the situation by detailing what the deceased would want, not what individual family members may be lobbying for.
Brings Up Issues of Long-Standing Family Problems
The death of a family member may bring about some unrealistic expectations about long-standing family conflicts.
Some may view it as an opportunity to come together. Others may think it is right to argue it out. It may be better to separate settling long-standing issues from the grieving process.
Disagreements Over Burial vs. Cremation
Family conflicts often arise over whether a traditional burial or a cremation should occur. If you haven’t clearly determined your choice, it should be done soon. This is also an issue that can be clarified through preplanning.
This is an important and crucial decision that can be avoided through preplanned decisions.
How Personal Effects Are Dealt With
Another trigger point of family conflicts after a loss is how personal effects will be dealt with and how quickly. A simple will can help avoid many conflicts or an overall decision be made to have an auction or estate sale.
Inheritance Issues
Family conflicts can start or deepen when financial and inheritance issues come into play. This is why it is crucial to have an executor clearly established and have a will and a preplanned funeral in place.
States have default wills that will take effect should a deceased not have a customized one in place. This can be a cause of friction.
Bottom Line
Many conflicts that arise following the death of a loved one can be avoided by having an executor clearly established, having a will in place, and by making final arrangements known by preplanning. While feelings may still be hurt and family members may feel slighted, a will and preplanning can provide clarity as to what the wishes of the deceased were.
How Fares J. Radel Can Help
Fares J. Radel has assisted families in Northern Kentucky and Cincinnati through funeral planning for over 126 years.
Trust us – preplanning can make a difference for your family. Contact us to start the process. We can even visit you at your home or office to get started. We encourage you to contact us soon.
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